Posted on: August 7, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 5

Fighting Blind in Brokenness

This blog has been harder to write than any other even though THE best news possible was delivered last Thursday. The chemo has completely eradicated the tumor! All I can do is give God praise!! All this awful, hard work has paid off and HOTY and I couldn’t be happier …

Cancer
Posted on: July 17, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 12

Surviving the Sour, Savoring the Sweet

Watching hair grow while it is being killed at the cellular level takes a lot of patience. Every morning I gaze at this bald head of mine in my magnification mirror and see new sprouts of life trying to live. I honestly can’t believe that it is even emerging considering …

Posted on: June 24, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 15

Knowing the One Who Controls the Wind

I seem to only be able to write days before I have to undergo chemotherapy again. I suppose those are the best days for clarity of mind. I have had about seven really good days to this point, but when you’re feeling good there is so much to get done …

Posted on: June 5, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 9

Full to the Brim: Entering Round Two of Chemo

Today is the day. Let the poison drip begin. It feels sort of barbaric, doesn’t it? A bit like the dark ages when bloodletting was the thing of “modern medicine.” Today with all our scientific, medical advancements we do this thing that brings one to the brink of death, with …

Posted on: May 30, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 7

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Surviving Round One of Chemo

I survived round one. I stepped into nothingness, lingered there for days and emerged out the other side. The darkness within chemo is something to talk about, but while in it I had no words. Since escaping it, it has taken me almost a week to want to sit down …

Posted on: May 13, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 7

Mother’s Day Chemo

May 13 – Mother’s Day “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:30‬ ‭NIV‬‬ Today is Mother’s Day. Probably the strangest Mother’s Day I have had to face. I actually don’t want to get out of bed because …

Posted on: May 7, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 4

In the Waiting

Time keeps moving forward and yet nothing has started. It has now been almost 6 weeks since my annual mammogram. Seems like a very long time when you have been told you have an aggressive, fast growing cancer in your body — instead of anything being done, I listen to …

Posted on: April 26, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 0

Stage 1

We arrived at my sister’s house last night. My mom and sister live about 30 miles from UCLA, which is a godsend. Both my mom and my sister offered to go to our appointments with us and Dennis and I really felt we could do it on our own. We …

Posted on: April 22, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 4

Matisse Introduces Me to Mother Teresa

Saturday night Matisse is hanging with her friends and one of them asks her what’s wrong. Matisse tells her about my recent diagnosis and sheds a few tears as this woman just listens to her. Then the unfolding begins. Her name is Teresa. She shares with Matisse that she works …