Author: Deborah Swanson

Posted on: June 24, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 15

Knowing the One Who Controls the Wind

I seem to only be able to write days before I have to undergo chemotherapy again. I suppose those are the best days for clarity of mind. I have had about seven really good days to this point, but when you’re feeling good there is so much to get done …

Posted on: June 5, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 9

Full to the Brim: Entering Round Two of Chemo

Today is the day. Let the poison drip begin. It feels sort of barbaric, doesn’t it? A bit like the dark ages when bloodletting was the thing of “modern medicine.” Today with all our scientific, medical advancements we do this thing that brings one to the brink of death, with …

Posted on: May 30, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 7

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Surviving Round One of Chemo

I survived round one. I stepped into nothingness, lingered there for days and emerged out the other side. The darkness within chemo is something to talk about, but while in it I had no words. Since escaping it, it has taken me almost a week to want to sit down …

Posted on: May 13, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 7

Mother’s Day Chemo

May 13 – Mother’s Day “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:30‬ ‭NIV‬‬ Today is Mother’s Day. Probably the strangest Mother’s Day I have had to face. I actually don’t want to get out of bed because …

Posted on: May 7, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 4

In the Waiting

Time keeps moving forward and yet nothing has started. It has now been almost 6 weeks since my annual mammogram. Seems like a very long time when you have been told you have an aggressive, fast growing cancer in your body — instead of anything being done, I listen to …

Posted on: April 26, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 0

Stage 1

We arrived at my sister’s house the last night. Both my mom and my sister live about 30 miles from UCLA, which is a godsend. Both my mom and my sister offered to go to our appointments with us and Dennis and I really felt we could do it on …

Posted on: April 22, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 4

Matisse Introduces Me to Mother Teresa

Saturday night Matisse is hanging with her friends and one of them asks her what’s wrong. Matisse tells her about my recent diagnosis and sheds a few tears as this woman just listens to her. Then the unfolding begins. Her name is Teresa. She shares with Matisse that she works …

Posted on: April 19, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 2

Stayed on His Perfect Peace

Taking care of other people’s emotions is something I never felt I was good at. I have always seen myself as a “suck it up butter-cup” kind of person. My girlfriend had me take a personality test a week ago and I thought for sure I’d come out as one …

Posted on: April 17, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 12

The “C” Word

April 17, 2018, 5:30 pm: “Deborah, has anyone read your report to you?” “It’s not good. It shows cancer. You need to come in to the office. Now would be good. I’ll wait for you to get here.” Funny thing, those should be the last words you want to hear. …

Posted on: January 21, 2018 Posted by: Deborah Swanson Comments: 1

Vitamin “J” Deficiency

The older I get, I am learning that I don’t always have to be right. I do like to be right and like to be acknowledged when I am right, but I am learning to sit back and not worry about being right. Having a discussion with my 22 year …